In a recent interview with, outspoken former radio DJ & talk show host, Wendy Williams who is the host of the daytime show The Wendy Williams Show, advised women to use their entire 20s to build a career and get married in their 30s. According to Wendy,
“My suggestion to women………use your entire 20s to work your behind off in your career… And then think about meeting that guy. Cause we’re the ones that lose in marriage. Not men.” She added, “It is difficult for men to accept really successful career women. Whether we out-earn them or that our name is brighter than theirs. I also feel like marriage and babies stunt a woman’s growth career-wise. Once you get married and have kids, you can’t do all the things that you used to do & maintain this important precious thing that you built as a family.”
I find this very interesting and if you know me, I am very blunt when it comes to issues on love, marriage, career and finances and to be sincere with you, I totally agree with her. In our society, it is ‘normal’ for any woman in her 20’s whether she just graduated or still in school to think of settling down with a man, getting married, having kids and her life is centered on around her family. And then, a woman who is not married at age thinks that the ‘gods’ are against her, she is not attractive enough to be considered marriage worthy, she’s too ‘career focused’ and so on. And the society sef (permit me) does not agree with successful women. We know how many successful women are called prostitutes and ‘wayward’ even when it is clear that they are running decent jobs. We have also heard that successful women or ‘career focused’ women find it difficult to get married.
When I was in my early 20’s, getting married wasn’t in my dictionary..my plan. It wasn’t like I never thought about it but I didn’t expect it would come too soon. I wanted to get a good job, tour the world, earn my money and spend my money….freedom! But not too long, I found myself married then motherhood came…..I totally lost it psychologically. I remember the so many times I thought of running away…or going away. I must admit it’s was tough and it still is.
The thing with marriage and having kids is that it limits you to being not who you have been designed to be, what you want to achieve or climbing the career ladder and waiting till later helps you in making decisions on your own and owning those decisions. Decision making makes you more assertive, reliable to yourself and others and experienced which I think is very important in handling life matters.
I strongly encourage young women to stay focused on using their 20’s to achieve their career goals, invest in themselves; intellectually, try new things; adventurous and not be afraid to owning their own businesses, a house or a car because at the end of the day, when you get married, you’ll need to put “something on the table” (it varies in every relationship or persons) to make that marriage work.
Dear women, times have changed, don’t be afraid of reaching the stars in your 20’s. Don’t give in to society and its pressures; don’t be afraid to love yourself; only when you do that you can love someone else. Loving yourself means taking care of your body physically, spiritually and health wise. Don’t imagine that marriage solves all life’s challenges….you’ll have to develop strategies to solve those challenges yourself. And if you think you can have it all in your 20’s….please think again.
Love,
Jay.
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