THE KIND OF SHOES I WOULD NEVER WANT TO WEAR

I have been missing in action for some time now and I feel lost and empty without me blogging. Anyway, it feels good to be back and I love every bit of it. I recently hired a domestic worker….well, I needed help juggling my job, house work, my business and family issues and I was advised to get a domestic worker. It wasn’t an easy task getting one when we hear lots of terrible stories these days but I prayed over it and got myself one.
She is a young married woman with three kids, who needs a job to pay her bills and take care of herself and her family. I have had to do some back ground checks and series of interviews just to make sure I had a good natured person working for me. Anyway, It has been good so far, I do my cooking, take care of my kids and of course my husband and she does her cleaning, washing and looks after my business while I am away at work and she gets paid……….it does sound good to me and to her too!.
Some of us call them “House helps”, “my girl”, “House girl”, “slave”……..whatever name you call them (and of course they answer-in this context I’d love to call them domestic workers), it is good to always remember that these girls face many health risks. Domestic work often takes the form of unregulated employment and exploitation and sometimes servitude or slavery.
Girls in this “behind- closed- doors” occupation are vulnerable to abuse by both women and men of the household. Have you heard of domestic workers that get raped by their masters, or madam’s son or male relatives, or get beaten with a belt at 1 am for just breaking a glass cup, or she’s not given food because she couldn’t wash the plates well as her madam wanted them. They often receive little or no pay….how much should they be paid?….how much would I want to be paid if I decide to be a stay home mom and do all the chores myself?…..does that make sense?, They do not have access to education and skill training to compete for better jobs and are isolated from friends and family…….sometimes, we should put ourselves in their shoes (those shoes are not made by designers that we love,  they don’t have the heels that we desire, or the colour that we would die for or would match our clothes) just for a minute!.
I have really thought about putting my feet in their shoes and it really hurts….I can’t even think of wearing those shoes for a second, they are not cute and lovely like my shoes, not start studded like that of Beyonce or Cameron Diaz, those shoes are wretched, torn from sides to sides, weak and do not even have soles……. It hurts …..It really hurts.
To be continued.

10 responses to “THE KIND OF SHOES I WOULD NEVER WANT TO WEAR”

  1. Nicely put. Thanks

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  2. Captivating title, seeing that I love shoes, i quickly came to see the shoe you'd never want to wear 🙂
    Now to serious issues, I don't currently have domestic workers but when I do I intend to model after my mother, she had several as I was growing and I never saw her maltreat any of them, for those who wanted education, she enrolled them in schools and colleges,even though some stole from her and took her good nature for granted, she never stopped. One particular guy is now successful in his field and has become a good friend of my family, we should never treat another human being badly because of their circumstances, we don't know where God is taking them and the key is to be fair always.

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  3. My experience is the same as Bukky's and if I ever need to have domestic staff, I intend to make it very clean cut so there's not shady business that may lead either them or myself to make mistakes.

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  4. Thank you Bukky (My sister from another mother). My mum had some terrible people as domestic workers but she never returned evil for evil and coincidentally, her name is Charity and she would never hurt a fly but the workers were really bad and I have a scar on my left hand that reminds me of one of them.
    I believe so much in love no matter how difficult it is….and when it is very painful, I still love. And when these domestic workers are loved and understood (wearing their shoes to understand where they are coming from)then there is nothing you can do other to love in return.

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  5. Thanks Nabin. How is India? Missed you!.

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  6. Oh Myne, I love your thought on “shady business”. I have found out that most couples exploit their domestic workers. They do the most job and yet they don't pay them well and the domestic workers in turn, steal, sexually molest the children and even do much more harm due to frustration.
    It is always nice not to cut corners, make it more legal and formal that way both parties (Oga and domestic worker) are more obligated to do their jobs well. Thanks for sharing.

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  7. creative write up Jane, love it. Every woman loves the comfort and the satisfaction of a good pair of shoes- who likes to suffer? treat domestic workers well- i agree, but by all means guard your home.

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  8. I loved this analogy.
    People who treat others badly are evil
    Whenever I visit Nigeria, I am struck by how so-called 'Madams' and 'Ogas' treat their drivers and house-helps like dirt. I guess it's a power thing

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  9. Thanks N.I.L. Unfortunately, it is a power thing and the 'inferiors' are treated with disdain….hate!. I remember this 'madam' a well known politician's wife who said to her 'maid' “before you came to my house, you didn't know how to speak English, this one you are speaking now, is my English” and she kept on insulting the lady. The high and mighty are very well into the game, they shine on the red carpets, magazines and they don't pay or treat their workers well. It's a shame and it really hurts.

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  10. Thanks Nnennaya. We all love good shoes. Like the saying “He who wears the shoes knows where it pinches”. We need to understand them, where they are coming from…we can”t change that no matter how hard we try but accept their deficiencies. I love “by all means, guard your home”. Thanks.

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