Jayne Whyte's Portfolio

This is dedicated to all mothers. I hope you enjoy them and invite friends to read. 

Things My Mother Taught Me

My Mother taught me LOGIC…”If you fall off that swing and break your neck, you can’t go to the store with me.” 

My Mother taught me MEDICINE…”If you don’t stop crossing your eyes, they’re going to freeze that way.” 

My Mother taught me TO THINK AHEAD…”If you don’t pass your spelling test, you’ll never get a good job!”

My Mother taught me ESP…”Put your sweater on; don’t you think that I know when you’re cold?” 

My Mother taught me TO MEET A CHALLENGE…”What were you thinking? Answer me when I talk to you…Don’t talk back to me!” 

My Mother taught me HUMOR…”When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me.” 

My Mother taught me how to BECOME AN ADULT…”If you don’t eat your vegetables, you’ll never grow up. 

My mother taught me about GENETICS…”You are just like your father!” 

My mother taught me about my ROOTS…”Do you think you were born in a barn?” 

My mother taught me about the WISDOM of AGE…”When you get to be my age, you will understand.” 

My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION…”Just wait until your father gets home.” 

My mother taught me about RECEIVING…You are going to get it when we get home. 

and my all time favorite thing – JUSTICE…”One day you will have kids, and I hope they turn out just like YOU..then you’ll see what it’s like.” 

Delivering a baby

A country doctor went way out to the village to deliver a baby.

It was so far out, there was no electricity. When the doctor arrived, no one was home except for the laboring mother and her 5-year-old child. The doctor instructed the child to hold a lantern high so he could see, while he helped the woman deliver the baby.

The child did so, the mother pushed and after a little while, the doctor lifted the newborn baby by the feet and spanked him on the bottom to get him to take his first breath.

The doctor then asked the 5-year-old what he thought of the baby.

“Hit him again,” the 5-year-old said. “He shouldn’t have crawled up there in the first place!”

Evolution of Mom

The Evolution of Mom 


Yes, parenthood changes everything. But parenthood also changes with each baby. Here, some of the ways having a second and third child differs from having your first: 


Your Clothes – 


1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy. 


2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible. 


3rd baby: Your maternity clothes are your regular clothes. 


The Baby’s Name – 


1st baby: You pore over baby-name books and practice pronouncing and writing combinations of all your favorites. 


2nd baby: Someone has to name their kid after your great-aunt Mavis, right? It might as well be you. 


3rd baby: You open a name book, close your eyes, and see where your finger falls. Bimaldo? Perfect! 


Preparing for the Birth – 


1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously. 


2nd baby: You don’t bother practicing because you remember that last time, breathing didn’t do a thing. 


3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your 8th month. 


The Layette – 


1st baby: You prewash your newborn’s clothes, color-coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby’s little bureau. 


2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains. 


3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can’t they? 


Worries – 


1st baby: At the first sign of distress – a whimper, a frown – you pick up the baby. 


2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn. 


3rd baby: You teach your 3-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing. 


Activities – 


1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, and Baby Story Hour. 


2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics. 


3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner. 


Going Out – 


1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home 5 times. 


2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached. 


3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood. 


At Home – 


1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby. 


2nd baby: You spend a bit of every day watching to be sure your older child isn’t squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby. 


3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.